Learn about the ten ways to elevate personal growth in your 20s and discover the valuable insights I wish I had known before stepping into this transformative phase of life.
Estimated Reading Time: 10 minutes
This post resonates deeply with my journey.
While I wholeheartedly appreciate where I am today, the route here was slightly different from others, courtesy of growing up in a single-parent household and immigrating to the US at a young age.
Assuming many responsibilities early shaped my experiences as a 12, 20, and 25-year-old. Looking back, I can’t help but wish someone had shared some of these valuable insights with me, sparing me from learning through mistakes or seeking them out via books or blogs (wow, full circle).
But realistically, there’s only so much time to absorb all the wisdom from personal growth books by the time you turn 20.
To solve that, here’s a breezy summary. I would even call this the SparkNotes version of the invaluable lessons I wish I had learned before turning 20.
Things I wish I knew about personal growth in your 20s:
- Everyone has their own timelines
- Learn how to cultivate good habits
- It’s OK to be alone
- Take care of yourself
- Learn emotional intelligence
- Embrace a growth mindset
- Don’t compare yourself to others
- Cultivate meaningful relationships
- Don’t rely on anyone but yourself
- Practice mindfulness and stress management
- BONUS: Too late does not exist
Everyone has their own timeline:
My mom became a parent at the age of 20.
My grandma had two kids before turning 25.
I’ve seen wedding pictures of over a quarter of my grade school classmates.
I’ve congratulated many on the arrival of their second child.
On the flip side, I have a 13-year-old dog, a new black cat, and a 9-5 job.
The day I turned 24, I signed into my work email and asked myself, “Am I doing something wrong?” My 17-year-old me thought I would be married, and expecting my first child.
I’d posed this question to myself on numerous occasions after that before finally embracing the idea that I am the creator of my timeline.
Once I did this, the internal pressure subsided, and honestly, I felt better.
Society imposes rigid expectations on what milestones should be achieved by a certain age, especially since not too long ago, those expectations were the norm seen in most households. Things seem to be slowly beginning to change, but the dinner table questions remain.
Acknowledging that everyone navigates their journey at their own pace is the first step. Next, we can think about what we CAN do to move forward since sometimes, even those “basic” life milestones are out of our control.
I mean come on, who can actually buy a house at an 8% interest rate?
While the economy and interest rates are out of our hands, personal development is one of those variables we do have more control over. Even though it tends to be a lifelong process, the sooner we get started the better off we are.
So, be more compassionate with yourself. Each one of our backgrounds, challenges, and opportunities contribute to our distinctive personal development path. Embrace YOUR journey and only try to improve what you CAN control.
Learn how to cultivate good habits:
Writing down your New Years’ resolutions on December 31st and never looking at them again will not work.
This isn’t another “How to set goals in the New Year post.” It’s more about how to sustain those goals. The emphasis isn’t on merely setting goals but researching what works for you and adhering to what you committed to doing. It involves learning methods for making an intentional effort toward the goals you set.
Good habits make you happy and successful. Every Millionaire Guide to Success you’ll read will forever talk about the habits wealthy individuals have put in place to organize their lives and set themselves up for success.
But, simply writing down some goals on a random Tuesday evening didn’t guarantee success for those individuals. They created habits to work towards those goals and gradually achieved them.
Here are some suggestions to help with this process
Start small:
Begin with habits you can manage. We are all creatures of habit, and changing those habits can be difficult. Small adjustments every day will eventually snowball into the effects you’re looking for.
Set goals around things you can control:
If you want to start a YouTube channel. Don’t set a goal to reach 1,000 subscribers by the end of the year. At the end of the day, YOU don’t control whether people will subscribe to you. Instead, your goal should be to post twice a week, every week for 12 months. That is something you have control over. If you put in the work, the subscribers will come.
Familiarize yourself with the cue-routine-reward loop:
Why do you currently have the habits that you do? Identify the components of your loops. Once you’ve done that, you’ll better understand what triggers those habits and have an inside perspective of ways you can prevent yourself from doing them or making slight adjustments in your behavior to revise it.
For example, whenever I sit down for a writing session, I find myself getting out of my chair and walking over to the kitchen whenever I need to step away from the screen and catch a break. Inevitably, I end up scavenging the fridge for a snack. While this seems harmless initially, it becomes a repetitive pattern and before I know it, I am 5 chocolates in.
In this scenario, the reward is either a snack or a change of scenery, a break from the white screen. Try to figure out what your body craves in that situation and try to replace it with a better alternative. If you want to learn more about the cue-routine-reward loop, here is a lovely article.
Track your progress:
Keep a journal or use an app to watch your progress. Simply seeing how far you’ve come can be a powerful motivator to keep moving forward.
Be more patient:
I believe everyone should practice more patience, particularly with ourselves. It seems we readily extend grace to others while being our own toughest critics. Habits take time to develop. Be patient with yourself and recognize that building positive habits is a process.
Visualize success:
See yourself winning. We often stop working on our progress when we lose sight of the outcome. Take time to reinforce your goals. Make vision boards. Do whatever you need to not forget what the end goal looks like.
RELATED POST: The Ultimate Guide to the Billionaire Morning Routine
It’s OK to be alone:
Transitioning from high school or college, depending on your experience, can be a significant change and sometimes even a slap in the face. After graduation, everyone scatters, moves out, relocates, travels, gets married, all the things. Maybe you stay behind or maybe you’re one of the ones that moved. Either way, you might find yourself feeling a bit lonely.
As an introvert, I never had a problem with this, but I know others can struggle during this transition.
It’s important to recognize that being alone does not necessarly mean loneliness. Instead, it offers a perfect opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth in your 20s. Embrace this time to explore your interests, passions, and dreams without external distractions or judgment.
Take advantage of this time to build a deeper connection with yourself. Reflect on your goals, aspirations, and values. Whether it’s trying out a new hobby, reading, or simply enjoying your own company, these moments lay the foundation for a stronger sense of self-awareness.
Take care of yourself:
I’ve never been one to splurge on shopping for new clothes or getting my nails done, but I also can’t deny the positive energy of freshly washed hair, a clean apartment and painted nails.
While these examples might seem simple, they significantly impact how we feel. They aren’t just about appearance; they’re forms of self-love. A clean living space isn’t just about cleanliness; it also clears mental clutter and helps with mental clarity and emotional balance.
Recognizing the importance of these small self-care practices is an investment in your mental health and overall happiness, so don’t hesitate to treat yourself once in a while.
Learn emotional intelligence:
The sooner you do this, the better off you’ll be. It’s not about being moody, over-dramatic, or too sensitive or whatever labels you may have heard before.
It’s about having the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions and the emotions of others. Develop this skill by practicing empathy, regulating your emotions, and navigating interpersonal relationships with sensitivity.
Next time you disagree or feel a certain way about someone’s words or actions, try to dig into why it bothered you. In some cases, the reason is very obvious, but in other cases, you may discover that the discomfort stems from past experiences with other people, which have nothing to do with the current situation.
Embracing emotional intelligence is not just about avoiding conflicts; it’s about creating healthier connections and enhancing your overall well-being. It helps you better navigate social situations with grace and empathy.
Exploring the reasons behind your emotional responses provides valuable insights into your triggers and patterns. This self-awareness is your key to emotional intelligence, enabling thoughtful responses instead of impulsive reactions.
Embrace a growth mindset:
View every experience, whether positive or challenging, as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Stay curious and open-minded and seek knowledge from all sources. This is a skill not only important in life in general but within your job. Working in corporate has shown me that while this mindset seems to be an “obvious” choice, not many people implement it and get stuck. They either get stuck in whatever task or their current position because they do not look beyond the resources they have in front of them.
Sidenote: Early in my career, for some reason, I thought Googling something at work was illegal – not illegal, but I felt that whatever I did to contribute to my company had to come out of my head. FALSE. Google everything and don’t ever stop learning. Was it just me?
The more you actively seek information, the more resourceful and effective you become in your role. In the fast-paced corporate world, being able to adapt and acquire new skills on the go is a valuable asset.
Don’t compare yourself to others:
I get it, this seems impossible. It’s not. But it’s one of those things we all need to work on every day, check out tip number 2 on cultivating good habits.
There are SO many variables that influence one person’s life. Where you grew up, upbringing, family, school, health —the list goes on. So, why compare ourselves?
You know how they say you don’t compare apples to oranges? This is because, despite both being fruit, they differ. Similarly, personal aspirations, dreams, and journeys add layers to life’s complexity. Comparing ourselves to others is like comparing apples to oranges—everyone is unique, with their own circumstances, challenges, and opportunities.
If you want to make a meaningful comparison, look only to your yesterday self. That’s the only apples-to-apples comparison that holds value. Reflect on your personal growth, accomplishments, and lessons learned. Celebrate your progress and acknowledge areas for improvement. This inward focus not only nurtures self-compassion but also directs your energy toward continuous self-improvement rather than the potentially demoralizing trap of external comparisons.
Cultivate meaningful relationships:
Being alone is still OK. But when you do decide you’d like some company, seek out your people with intention. 1 good friend is better than 10 bad ones.
In your 20s, making friends might not be as easy as it used to be. You have to actively seek and build connections with purpose. So go out and try new things.
Try to reconnect with your younger self. What did you love doing?
Enjoy sports? Join an adult sports club. Like volunteering? Check out your local food kitchen. These places are great ways to meet new people who share the same passions as you.
By trying out new things. you create an opportunity to surround yourself with individuals who inspire, support, and challenge you. You never know what you might learn by just stepping out of your comfort zone. And trust me, if you’re feeling alone, others like you are too, so invest time in building connections for a positive impact on your personal growth in your 20s.
Don’t rely on anyone but yourself:
After soaking in the positivity of my earlier points, this may seem somewhat negative. It has good intentions, I promise.
Situations vary. Some have some very tight-knit connections with their family, friends, or acquaintances, while others may not.
Regardless, in both situations, the advice holds. Don’t rely on anyone but yourself. It will prevent you from learning the hard way.
This perspective doesn’t diminish the importance of meaningful connections or the value of a support system. Instead, it emphasizes the notion of self-reliance as a complement to those relationships. Building self-reliance isn’t about living under a rock and shutting out trust; it’s about nurturing a sense of independence.
In life, circumstances can change unexpectedly, and having a foundation of self-reliance ensures that you’re ready to navigate challenges independently. It’s not about closing yourself off from others but rather about being your own constant in a world of variables.
Practice mindfulness and stress management:
I came across an online opinion that said, “Life is easy, you just make it hard.” It was met with a lot of negative feedback, rightly so, as everyone faces unique challenges, and the spectrum of difficulties varies for each person.
That’s not to say someone’s challenging circumstances negate someone else’s. Everyone has their own version of hard.
I think the statement failed to capture the sentiment accurately, so I’d like to elaborate on how I see it.
My version: life is hard, try to make it easier. You can always make your life better, even if just a minuscule amount every day. And if not every day, you can strive to make those small increments as often as possible.
Your 20s are demanding. They’re incredibly fast-paced and the majority of life’s biggest milestones happen between the ages of 18 to 30. Take the above image for example, 8 out of those 14 “life events” all happen within 1 decade. That is a lot of emotions to deal with which is why stress management is crucial.
In between all of these life events, practicing mindfulness becomes an anchor. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
Stress management is not about denying the difficulties of life but finding effective ways to cope with them. This can include activities such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy and relaxation.
BONUS: Too late does not exist:
I wrote this post out as 10 Ways to Personal Growth in Your 20s, but then stumbled upon this gem and felt the need to comment. While it complements my 1st point about everyone having their own timeline, I think it adds a perspective I did not touch on earlier.
The notion that everyone has their own timeline reinforces the idea that not hitting milestones doesn’t define your worth or progress.
The concept of “too late does not exist” challenges the limiting belief that opportunities have an expiration date. This hopefully encourages a mindset shift toward embracing the present moment and taking action.
Whether it’s starting a new career, learning a skill, or pursuing a passion, the acknowledgment that “too late” is a subjective barrier allows for renewed motivation and resilience.
While the first point highlights the uniqueness of individual timelines, this perspective goes a step further, emphasizing the limitless potential at any stage of life. It’s an invitation to reject the notion of missed chances and instead focus on the possibilities that exist in the here and now.
In essence, this mindset underlines the importance of embracing change and taking risks.
Final Thoughts on Personal Growth in Your 20s
And there they are, the 10 Ways to Elevate Personal Growth in Your 20s. Your 20s are a transformative decade. No one can do it alone which is why I am sharing some thoughts on what I wish I knew before having to navigate all the complexities of my 20s.
From embracing your personal timeline and cultivating good habits to creating meaningful relationships and practicing mindfulness, I hope these insights serve as a guide for intentional living. I hope as you start, continue, or finish your journey, you remember to celebrate progress, prioritize self-care, and embrace change, knowing that personal growth in your 20s knows no expiration date and you are always becoming better than your yesterday self.
As always, don’t be a stranger! Share your thoughts in the comments below. Your feedback is always greatly appreciated. Bye for now!
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